Thursday, March 29, 2012

Week 2 and the nursery

So Bryce is 2 weeks old today! I can't believe it! He is sleeping in his bouncer right now grunting and making all sorts of noises. :)

We took Bryce back to the Dr. on Monday and he was up to 7 lbs 8 oz. Still not quite back to his birth weight but much better. We will have to take him for one more weigh in next week just to make sure he still gaining weight.

My recovery from the C-section is going well. I haven't had to take any pain killers since my 3rd day home. I get around the apt just fine. I still walk pretty slow when Im out and about. Walking up an incline isn't easy yet either, but Im getting there.

All my pregnancy symptoms are completely gone! I can see my ankles again! I keep staring at them thinking how skinny my leg looks. I can sit down or stand up for awhile and not have to worry about my legs inflating into a blimp. I can get my wedding ring over my knuckle now, but its still a little snug. Im gonna give a few more weeks before I start having to think about getting it re sized. I keep looking at my belly and thinking that I have never felt so skinny and fat at the same time. It honestly feels weird to not feel a baby in there anymore.

I have to admit, staying at home hasn't been easy for me. This is such a beautiful time of year and it is very hard to sit and look out the window and feel trapped inside. Im home alone all day everyday mostly. Dont get me wrong, I love the time I get to spend with Bryce, but by the time Scott gets home, I feel half crazy, haven't talked to another adult all day. This week, I've tried to get out of the house everyday, even if its just for an hour. Yesterday, I told Scott he had to take me somewhere, even if we just drove around.
I guess we have done a lot this week. Monday we took Bryce to the Dr, made a trip to Target, and then ate lunch with my mom. On Tuesday, I went to pick Scott up from UALR and took Bryce up to Miss Selma's to show off to Scott's old teachers. Wednesday we went to Sonic for Happy Hour and to Barnes and Nobel to buy "What To Expect In The First Year".

And I know Im a bit behind on the nursery pics, but I knew I needed to put the finished product up.

Book Collection + the cutest octopus I have ever seen!

Got the dresser from Uncle James! Those are peel and stick stickers from Hobby Lobby.

 Locked and Loaded

Puppy. This was Scott's as a child

The mobile my friends made for my Dr. Seuss Shower. The curtains courtesy of my mom! We already had the recliner, just moved it from the living room.

Custom crib bedding, thanks to the Mother in Law

  A very blank wall.... I've got ideas but it will take awhile to come together

Saturday, March 24, 2012

1 Week

Well the first week has flown by! I keep having this thought in the back of mind that the rest of his life will go by just as fast. So Im trying to soak up every little sweet moment.
Well we stayed in the hospital from Thursday-Sunday. All those days kinda run together. Ive never been so exhuasted in my whole life! Some of my favorite memories from the hospital were when Bryce got  to met his Great Grandmother. She was so excited to see him. She barged in the room and said "Let me see his face." She talked to him about trips to farm to go swimming the creek. I hope one day Bryce can have the memories of the farm like I do as part of his childhood. Another memory I love is every night when the nurses would roll Bryce in for his feedings. He was never crying, just eyes wide open, staring at me. He looked so peaceful and happy. When he did cry, Scott would hold him and talk to him. Scott would say sweet things like "Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We planned for you, we've waited for you, and now we get to love you." It was so sweet!

Sunday morning we got to check out of the hospital and come home! It was beautiful day! I hadn't been outside for days, so it was even more beautiful to me. Bryce slept in his car seat all the way home. When we got home, I layed him on the couch, and he immediatly rolled to his side! Just practicing to roll over!

My mom took of work to stay at home with me on Monday and Tuesday. Im so thankful she did becuase I was still really sore from the C section and couldn't really get along that well alone. One day I woke up from a snooze on the couch and she was reading to Bryce from a Southern Living magazine. She said they had been learning all about rose bushes and pimento cheese recipies! I can tell my mom is completely in love him, she definatly likes to hog him!

 Im not going to lie, those first 2 nights at home where pretty bad. Bryce didn't sleep for more than 10 mins at time. He was very fussy and cried a lot. As a new mother, I really didn't know what to think. I tried giving him a passy. Problem was, he would fall sleep, then let it fall out of his mouth, and then start crying all over again. I was up every 10 mins to put the passy back in his mouth. I rocked him, sang to him, fed him, changed him and he was still crying. It wasn't until the next day I realized the fussiness was due to gas. He would stretch his legs and arch his back and look like he was in so much pain. He hadn't had a poopy diaper since we'd been home, so I was worried about him. Finally, the next night he loaded up like 4 diapers in a row and it he was much less fussy and started sleeping for longer stretches.

The next few nights went much better. He would sleep for 1-3 hour stretches. I guess I dont have the diaper thing down yet, becuase he wet his crib twice in one night. Another night, he went through 3 onsies as he was always wet when I went to feed him. I've got him to sleep without the passy as this was also preventing him from sleeping. We are finally getting into a rythmn and I look forward to when he sleeps through the night. Shoot, I'd be thrilled if I only had to get up twice.

Bryce also had his first bath at home this week. He didn't like it very much. Of course, me and Scott probably are not expert bath givers just yet either.

On Thursday we took Byce to his 1 week check up at the Dr. I was very disapointed to learn that he had actually lost more weight since he left the hospital. He was down to 6 lbs 14 oz. Dr. Keathly wanted me to start pumping and suppliment his feedings to make sure he was getting enough. This was upsetting to me becuase breastfeeding was one thing I thought I was doing right.

After his Dr. appointment, we swung by Chick Fil A to pick up Scotts check and decided to go in a get a bite to eat! It was his first outing and he did so good!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Dear Bryce,

Dear Bryce,

There are so many things I already want to tell you! The day you where born will forever be special day in my heart. I have tried to catalogue some special memories from that day so that one day you will know just how much everyone loves you.

As we left for the hospital early that morning we were so excited to meet you! Little did we know we would have to wait about 28 more hours! That's another story for another day! Your Lala (Grandma Howard) was there all day with me and your daddy. A little later in the day Grandma and Grandpa Burrup arrived as well as Grandpa Howard (he hasn't decided what to be called yet). Uncle Cody showed up later in the afternoon. They all stayed through the whole 28 hour ordeal, sleeping the waiting room. No one wanted to miss your big arrival!

Your daddy was a nervous wreck! He was trying his best to help me through the delivery. He didn't pass out or get sick, so he did his job! I was a nervous wreck too, I just didn't have any option than to pull myself together.Your Lala was hovering over the contraction/heart beat machine watching your every move and telling me when my contractions where almost over. I'm so glad she was there. Everyone wants their Momma when they are scared and in pain.

Grandpa Howard came in when my labor had stalled to give you a little pep talk. He leaned over my belly and talked to you. He told you to come on out, that he wasn't getting any younger and you guys had stuff to do. Stuff like how to put a worm on a hook, how to shoot a BB gun, how to skip rocks, and pull cat tails. It was really sweet. Unfortunately, you didn't agree, you stayed put.

When we made the decision to have the C-section, I had never been so scared in my life. I was so anxious to meet you, but I just wanted you to be safe and healthy. Only your Daddy was aloud in the operating room with me. He held my hand through the whole thing. I don't know if I could have done it without him. My eyes filled with tears when I heard you cry. I couldn't see you, but I could hear your sweet voice. The Dr. flashed you around the curtain for a quick glance before they took you to clean you off and all I remember thinking was how much you looked like my Dad. A few minutes later, Daddy was aloud to come over and take pictures of you as they checked you out. I was jealous because I couldn't see you. Then Daddy got to hold you! He looked so scared when brought you over to me. I couldn't see your face because Daddy was too scared to hold you up at an angle.

Once we got back to the room, I finally got to hold you! Your eyes were open and you weren't even crying! You looked right at me! Just stared me right in the eyes. It was the most precious moment of my life. Your daddy and I just stared at you for a good long while before we let anyone come in. When everyone came in and huddled around the bed, you looked at everyone. One by one you looked them all in the eye. I asked Uncle Cody if he wanted to be the first hold you and then you did something all of us were in awe of. You turned your head all the way sideways and looked right at Cody. Like you already knew who was who.

Uncle Cody held you. He was visibly nervous to hold you. I don't think he has ever held a baby before. I'm sure he will get used to it and want to hold you all the time! Then, everyone took a turn holding you. Everyone was so in love with you from the very beginning! Especially your Daddy. I could tell by the look on his face when he held you, how in love with you was. It made me love him even more. Not only did I love him as my husband, but now I loved him as your father. I know your Daddy is going to be an awesome father; you are so lucky to have him!

I can't belive how much I love you. I thought I loved you, but after holding you and kissing you, my love for you has grown so much Im not sure I even understand it. Im not sure what I did to deserve such a sweet little blessing. You are perfect in every way and your Daddy and I feel so lucky to have you.
 Love, Mom

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Ramblings on being a new mother

So this is it! My last day on this planet without a child. Think about that. Unless I some how manage to outlive all my children, I will forever have a child to take care of, nurture, give wisdom, counsel, and love. What a ride it will be!

If I sit here and think too much about it, I start to feel the tears swelling up in my eyes. I'm so anxious about tomorrow. I'm not scared of the pain. I'm not even worried about the atrocities that will happen to my body. I'm so worried that something could go wrong and that my baby won't be healthy. The thought of hearing his first gasping scream is enough to send me wailing. I just want to see his face, hear him cry, and hold him. And of course to hear the Dr. to say he is perfect.

I think about how different life will be and wonder if I can do it. I guess you don't know just how capable you are until life thrusts itself upon you. I kinda chuckle to myself as I think about all the idiot parents I have witnessed with working with kids and I think "If they can somehow manage to raise a child, I most certainly can. Right?". But then I think about how I've never changed a newborns diaper, given a baby a bath, or breastfeed one for that matter. I just hope I do everything right!

I have no idea how I will be able to sleep tonight. It will be like I am 6 years old again and it's Christmas Eve and I want to sleep under the tree in a fort of presents and wait for Santa. I don't remember much about trying to sleep the night before my wedding. Sure, I was nervous then too, but it doesn't even compare to this feeling. I know if I ever wake up one day and decide I'm done with Scott then its nothing a little trip down the courthouse can't fix (Don't worry baby, not that I'd ever feel that way about you!Or that I would ever make such a rash decision) But you most certainly can't undo a child. It is forever part of you. And you a part of them. So thus begins the forever forward march into parenthood!There is no going back!

PS- I'm gonna need some prayers.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

38 Weeks: The final countdown!

38 Weeks
I don't really feel like my belly has gotten any bigger the last few weeks

Well, we are having a baby next Wednesday, March 14th! Looks like he'll be able to wear that St. Patrick's Day onesie after all!

I've been to the Dr. twice this week. On Monday they did a fetal stress test on Bryce. He slept pretty much through the whole thing! They buzzed him with this buzzer that made him jump and roll all over the place! He kept falling right back to sleep after they buzzed him. From what they could tell, Bryce was doing just fine. I also found out that Monday I was 1cm dilated, which really doesn't mean anything at all. Labor could still be weeks away.

Today I went back to the Dr. My blood pressure was back down (very good news). I guess all this sitting around is starting to pay off! They did the stress test on Bryce again. Again, they had to buzz him awake. This time, he stayed awake and cooperated. His heart responded great, so no worries there. Dr. Wyatt said I was still just 1cm dilated. We had a discussion about inducing. He knows I'm tired of sitting around. I'm worried about the bed rest taking up my maternity leave. By next Wednesday, I'll be 39 weeks. The risk of delivering 1 week early is pretty much non existent. There is a higher rate of C-section with inducing, but the way I see it, I could easily sit around for another 2 weeks waiting to go into labor only to end up having a C-section in the end anyways. So we looked at the calendar and made arrangements for next week! eek!

I guess there is a chance Bryce could make a surprise appearance before then. I felt my first real contractions this morning around 430am. By real contractions I mean they actually were painful as opposed to just a tightening feeling. I rolled around in the bed moaning for 1/2 an hour before I realized what I was feeling. If felt like the worst cramps of my life and then it radiated around into my back. I felt my belly and it was hard as a brick. Then I knew. I was having a contraction! 9 minutes later, I had another one. I waited, watching the clock for the next one. It never came. The crampyness lingered for about an hour until I was able to relax enough to fall back asleep. When I got up this morning, it was just business as usual. Just a practice run. Scott, of course, slept through the whole thing. Just as well, he would have just been pacing around the bedroom driving me crazy.

Here are some things I've made to keep myself from going crazy while on bed rest!:
This is a Pinterest creation. I plan on hanging on the outside of the door once Bryce is here!

I really can't figure out my camera. All the greens look too yellow. I started this quilt top last summer. I still need to add an inner/outter border, backing and binding. And have it quilted of course.

Monday, March 5, 2012

When it Rains, it Pours!

*find a dresser, paint if needed
*make/buy curtains for nursery
*finish decorating nursery
*organize clothes by months
*organize the book shelf
*put away the left over Christmas stuff
*wash/vacuum the car
*install car seat
*pack hospital bag
*make list of things to go in the hospital bag
*make a master grocery list
*invest in some thank you notes
*Buy some Dreft
*stock up on toilet paper, dishwasher soap, laundry soap, etc.
*stay on top of house cleaning
*pre-register at St. Vincents
*make sure Scott knows how to get to Labor and Delivery at St. Vincents
*locate supplemental insurance papers
*file federal and state tax returns
*make sure camera and phone stays charged at all times
*make sure car has at least 1/2 tank of gas at all times
*make Scott reads the Labor and Delivery chapter in What to Expect When You're Expecting
*make sure Scott memorizes my Social Security number, age, birthday, etc because I swear if he asks me what it is while I'm in labor I might bash him over the head with some forceps.

As you can see, Scott still has a few things he needs to check off sooner rather than later!

After my Dr's appointment this afternoon, hopefully we will have a better time line of whats going to happen this week.

I'm a little frustrated with my apartment complex. Last weekend, we got a letter from the office saying we had to have all our stuff off our balcony and out of our storage closet by Monday morning so that they could "replace" the balcony. So with no other option, we piled up all the boxes in our dinning room. Monday goes by...nothing. Tuesday goes by....nothing. Wednesday, a 4 man crew shows up not to demo the balcony but to demo our hall bath. Our hall shower has been leaking downstairs for months now. They have come to "fix" the problem 3 different times now. I guess they decided to just rip the whole thing out and start from scratch. So while I was supposed to be on bed rest, I was playing host to a revolving door of construction workers. They ripped out all the tile and even the dry wall. Its been 6 days and the hall bath is still not put back together. Someone is supposed to come paint today (just what a pregnant woman needs to be doing....inhaling paint fumes all day). We can't even shower in our new shower b/c no one put the shower head in!

.........and the best part? Now there is a ring of water around the bottom of the toilet.

Oh and I'm sure we will bring home Bryce from the hospital while a team of men is bulldozing the balcony. Did I mention Bryce's bedroom window is on the balcony? When it rains, it pours!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

37 Weeks...and counting

Well, I've reached full term!

My face is huge

I went back to the Dr. this morning and found out that my blood pressure is still high with trace amounts of protein in my urine. It could turn into preeclampsia at any moment and I wouldn't even know it, so I have to go to the Dr. twice a week now to be monitored. One of my labs that they ran the other night at the hospital came back high but not enough to enduce me. So, I am still on bed rest. Dr. Wyatt wants Bryce to stay in there as long as its healthy to be in there, so no baby this week. He also said something about a fetal stress test next week, so many I should read up on that. One crazy thing...I've lost 2 lbs this week. How is that humanly possible? My mom thinks it is water weight since only my feet are swollen now instead of my whole leg. Shes probably right. 

This is Bryce's coming home outfit! Simple really. I thought those booties where the cutest thing I'd ever seen! Then I realized that I had a cap that matched it perfectly. Even more exciting was that I had a blanket that matched it perfectly too! I didn't have any clothes that matched it, so I just went with the simple white onsie and the grey sweat pants. I want him to be comfortable most importantly since newborns' skin is so soft and sensitive. Scott is out as I type buying some mitten cuffs to go with this outfit as well.

I've been thinking....maybe I should be sitting on some towels in case my water breaks...wouldn't want to ruin the couch!